I’ve dreamed about being on this journey so many times that sometimes it feels surreal.
But one thing I never imagined about this journey is the loneliness.
I’ve dealt with depression for a long time. I didn’t do drugs, I didn’t drink, my faith kept me grounded and I’ve always been a homebody. So there was only one vice that helped me cope: food. Specifically, sugar.
I loved processed food. Cakes, ice cream, cookies, chips, Malta. If you can think of it I loved it.
They were what kept me sane. Or so I thought at the time. But it developed into an addiction!
I have a naturally addictive personality. So, losing weight and getting stronger became my new fixation.
I changed my eating habits and my lifestyle and I felt great.
But I never realized how much in a box some persons kept me. I was the “fat friend” or the “funny smart fat friend”.
People started getting uncomfortable with how comfortable I became in my own skin!
They began revealing their true colors. The old me would have spiraled out of control, but the new me let those friendships go.
I mourned them but I moved on because I loved myself more than I wanted or needed their friendship.
Although I’ve lost relationships with friends and family I’ve gained a newfound love for myself.
Yes I still get lonely and the depression is still present but I refuse to let it win.
Put all my energy into my workouts and 9/10 it makes me feel better.
If you follow through with your new lifestyle you may lose some persons you thought would be around forever, but I promise you that you’ll find yourself in the process!
The first step is trying and the next step is not giving up when things get hard! If you keep going you may be the next person featured here!
Keep going! If no one else believes in you know that I do. You’ve got this!
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Remember you are a pink starburst and don’t let anyone tell you differently! xoxoxo